She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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