hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize