like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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