there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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