is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
