I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
