everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
