I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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