He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
