Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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