The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
