Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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