My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
