I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
