I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
