dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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