Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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