doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I supernannyed him into submission
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize