Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
