puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
