I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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