is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
