I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize