she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
