My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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