Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
