Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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