I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
