It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
