Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
