my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
