last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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