As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
