i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
