o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize