my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
no you cant smoke seaweed
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
