Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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