So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All the doctor said was why
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