I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
