imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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