doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize