I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just threw up on my dentist
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
