just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize