so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
