I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
