apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We don't watch enough power rangers
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
