Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize