i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No subtext here. People are naked.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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