He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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