i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
