So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's the barista slut.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
