I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Shame is for Republicans.
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