True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
