i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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