it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I deserve this hangover.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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