i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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