hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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