If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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