Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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