Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
