new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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