talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
