standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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