I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize