I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's blow job season.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
