Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
