To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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