He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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