then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
