I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
