i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
