It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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