Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just invented taco cereal.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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