He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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