I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
