I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
