new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize